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|  Ya know what's awesome? I lost my voice again, and losing my voice isn't the awesome part. It's the fact that I lost it a couple weeks ago, it came back just in time for me to sing at church on Sunday, and then I lost it again yesterday. That's a God thing.
I wish it would snow.
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This is all so beautiful
But how much of this will really be
Enough to keep me on my feet
So this is how it feels when it's for real
But how much can be invisible
Enough for me to just believe
And I'm chasing the wind
And ending up right where I began I know that there's an art to starting over again
And I know that God will never waste the pain
You can only try so hard to right a wrong
This song will only last so long
But life is just the art of living on I may never know why we should just let go
But do I really want a God that we can understand?
Still I close my eyes and try to reason why
But since when does my desire dominate the plan?
I'm chasing the wind
And ending up right where I begin I know that there's an art to starting over again
And I know that God will never waste the pain
You can only try so hard to right a wrong
This song will only last so long
But life is just the art of living on When life is in slow motion
And when the silence is deafening
Hold on tight, you're gonna cry
But there's always a reason why I know that there's an art to starting over again
And I know that God will never waste my pain
You can only try so hard to walk alone
This song will only last so long
But life is just the art of living on
It comes down to the art of living on
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|  MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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|  It's funny how a smelly, old dog can make you evaluate your life. Recently my dad told me, Chester, our family dog of about 12 years is going to have to be put to sleep soon. I've kinda realized this for a while and figured it was eventually coming, but for some reason I didn't care until I actually heard the words come out of my dad's mouth. I began to think of all the times we took that dog down to the lake as a puppy, or how much he'd yelp from up the hill when we wouldn't. Normally I would just shove him away whenever he got close because you could smell his breath from across the room, and every single person that's ever known my dog could attest to this! But now I've realized life is different. My biggest worry isn't worrying about the family dog or trying to remember to get my lunch money in the morning. People are leaving my life--and I don't mean they're dying, even though the O'Neil family has had more than it's share of loved ones passing away recently--but I mean friends are going off to college, getting married, and some are even having kids already. We're all growing up. It's so exciting to think about being married and having my own family, but it scares me to death at the same time. I feel like it's all hit me like a ton of bricks. My biggest worry isn't my childhood pet (even though I'm sad about Chester not being able to walk up to the stairs anymore), it's my future, and how different my life's going to be without some of the people that I love dearly being there to talk me through things, and all the major life decisions I'm going to have to make soon--some of which I'm already having to make.
I'm taking on a full-time job at the plex--mainly for the experience because it's definitely not going to be my life-long career--but all I can worry about is not having insurance because I'm off my dad's plan when I'm not a full-time student anymore and the plex doesn't offer anything. I know it's a big deal to know that if something does happen, I could be in the whole a few thousand dollars, but worrying about that's not relying on God is it? Yeah, I'll get a plan on my own just to help out if something does happen, but ultimately my life is in God's hands. If something happens to me, I honestly don't care. I'll take it one day at a time, and I'll make one payment at a time. I know it'd be stressful, but it's just money in the end. I pray that I remember that if there ever comes a time that I feel the world is coming to an end because of money, and I also pray that my future husband, Lord-willing it'll be Tim!  , will be dependent on God enough that he'll realize the same. But anyways... I feel like no one's gotten in the Christmas spirit lately! Here's some icons to brighten up everyone's day and MERRY CHRISTMAS! 
     
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| I’ve learned. Somewhere between the procrastination and homework, the endless relationships that come and go, and the calls to those I love talking about anything and everything. Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends and the “I miss you’s,” the “What are we doing tonight’s?” and the “We need to hang out soon’s!”… and somewhere between all of the changing and growing up. Somewhere between the classes and the skipping classes and the studying for tests and the pretending to study for tests… I forgot… I forgot what life was all about. Somewhere between work and classes, the 7-Eleven coffees and Krispy Kreme donuts, the sweet iced teas and Chick-fil-a runs… making plans then breaking plans… I forgot—I forgot what it was like to cry. I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn’t make you happy… and that pretending to be smart doesn’t make you smart. I forgot that you can’t just hold on to the past in fear of the future or push the past away to make the future come sooner. I forgot that life isn’t always slumber parties and late-night movies rentals, and that it can be tough. But I’ve learned that I can love. I’ve learned that it’s okay to mess up… and it’s okay to ask for HELP… and it’s okay to feel like crap. I’ve learned that it’s okay to complain to your boyfriend about a rude customer at work. I’ve learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can’t have, and the people that you want to save most, can’t be. I’ve learned that the people that you expect to be in your life forever can be gone in an instant. I’ve learned that words can hurt. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle a rainy day or the way they carry a conversation with others when you’re not around. I've learned that I cannot forgive on my own. I’ve learned that when you start feeling bad about losing touch, those you’re losing touch with are feeling the same way. I’ve learned that the greatest thing about life, school, and the working world isn’t the possessions, it isn’t money, fame, or being good at something, it isn’t… about me. It’s about love; it’s about friendships; it’s about family; it’s about my relationship with God. I’ve learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about and when you think it can’t get worse—it does. But I’ve also learned that with the love and support of friends, family, and God, you deal, and it’ll be bittersweet. I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that life should be of so much more worth to me, and I should not take people for granted. I’ve learned that I should praise God for the people He’s placed in my life. I’ve also learned that the people in my life… both young and old… and the God I serve matter more to me than anything else in the world. I’ve learned I wouldn’t be who I am today without them affecting my every thought, my every decision, my every passion and hope. And most importantly, I’ve learned that I still have SO much more to learn about this life I am leading in Christ and so much more to learn about each and every one of the people God's placed in my life. I’ve also learned that I love them all unconditionally.
   
   
  
  
  
  
     
  
   
   
  
     
  
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